Showing Emotions

SHANMUKH






I Was Never One To Patently Pick Up The Broken Fragments and Glue Them Together Agan, I Know Well What Lies Beyond My SleepIng Refuge,The NIghtmare I Buit My Own World To Escape .. Enjoy life how it is and as it comes, There were Times When I Would Close My Eyes, Take a Deep Breath and Hold It .. Wishing That Everythng Around Me Would Come to a Stand Still, Alas ! I Could Never Hold My Breath Long Enough ..

Love is a Name Of Sacrifice

I will live a life of sorrow
so you can be happy tomorrow
all your pains will become mine
the pains you had in your past times

Might as well be my fault,upon ending
still trying to consume the words your sending
I know i need you in my life
since your happy,i'll replace you with a knife

My life is going to change since youve gone away
words are clustered together,never will i say
feels like my soulmate left me alone
when your gone,my mind does nothing but roam

I see you in my eyes, i cannot belive your smile
I see you,as i lay upon tiles
my sacrifice of love is you
It is one worthy and true ..

Once Upon a Time ..

Once upon a time..
..I loved the past
But now I've gone forward...
I've realized I cannot love the past while I'm in the present, so I let go...


I let go of those memories that held me captive for so long..
Those dreams I once knew that were brought to life by you,
Now are only there to help me fall asleep at night
I am going on by myself..


I am going forward into my future with hopes that my new dreams will someday come true just like you had done for me..

Once upon a time, in the past..

One Day You'll Miss My Presence

Upon my pillowcase,
Soaked with salty tears
Is perched a diary,
Filled with forgotten fears

Alongside the terrors
Ring a bell of gold
Inside a marble tower
My story will unfold
Pale stars trail behind
A long forgotton path
Memories are erased
And unto me is wrath

The room echos now
with the haunting voice of me
Calling from the diary
Reaching into night to see
A smudged world
where without my sorrow
Without my love
Life sings bitter and hollow ..

Tell me What Was My Fault ?

Where are you when I need you most?
You disappeared into the darkness
You left nothing behind but your memory
And for me to wait for you

Your heartfelt spirit is absent now
The smiles have wiped off the faces
Of the people you deserted here
You caused internal forever pain

I, the one you loved am crippled
Because of your sudden vacation
Your vacation that would last a lifetime
To a secret resort I will never know of

What made you decide to change your mind?
You made me feel I wasn't good enough for you
Maybe that is true, maybe it is not
But now, how will I ever know?

I have been trying to thrust your memory aside
So I could get on with my life
I have tried to love someone other than you
Yet, somehow you remain the main focus

My Destiny Always Deceives Me

The ultimate pain of solitude and silence
Broken by the sounds of whimpering
Blood is everywhere
Spelling out the horror of what happened
Telling no lies
And giving no explanation

Fear overwhelms the victim
Who's sitting in the corner
The blade lays on the floor
Covered in red liquid
The victim is dying
But she's enjoying every second ..

Even When Shadow betrays You

This fear I have.
This pain I have.

This feeling of terrible hate
Looming over me.

This animosity tormenting me
Devouring my very soul.
Wanting to take over.

It whispers in my ear
Filling me with dread.
Clutching my shoulders
Pushing me over the edge.

This Shadow was born
In Darkness
It lives in Darkness.

This Shadow I fear.
This Shadow is Me ..=(

Trying To Forget You

Up until now
I had so much to say
but it's everything I've said
That's gotten in my way

I won't talk about you
Anymore to anyone
The time for that has passed
It's just over with and done

Supposed-to-be forgotten words
are still dancing in my head
And I'm just trying to "not remember"
A single thing you've said

I wanna forget all about you
Who you are and what your name is
Cause it's causing so much pain
And I honestly can't take this ..

I Want To Quit this Mean World

The whole world is fake
The faces around us
We all seem to hate
We live a lie
Up until the day we die..

Trying to be someone were not
Not being ourselves
No matter what
All living are lives
As a sharade
Letting our true selves fade and fade..

Why cant we all be real
Tell people how we truly feel
It seems as though
This is how its always gonna be
Not having a true definition of the word Me,
Just simply acting to make ourselves look good
Not being who we are
Like we should ..

Nothing Is Forever..

How many friends have you lost along The way,

How many lovers gone from your sight,
How many times have you broken down in fear,

How many times have you cried yourself to sleep at night.
This world that we live in is far from perfect,
So many things that make it wrong,
Sometimes there's light that brightens up Your day,

But others its been dark all along.
How many times have you left your House crying,
Knowing things will never be the same,
How many times have you had to hide Behind a smile,

Live with a different name.
They say that life's what you make it,
But how can we control death,
One minute we are here living life,
The next out of breathes.

The journey of life confuses me,
Sometimes i just sit and wonder why,
Why do the people we are closest to,
Always have to die???

I am Yet To be Loved by You

The Affection in Your Smile,The Depth In Your Eyes..Was never for me,I Never realized.Worthy of nothing,still i wish to survive,I look for The care,For You,I Strive..

Over Ruled by the Strong desire Of Being Priceless Like You,I am Yet to Be Loved,To Be Loved By You..

When'll Yoy See,How Much I Care

Never will I understand,
Why my love, denies my hand.
What pain, what suffering have you endured?
With my help, can you be cured?

My thoughts, my dreams, you re always there,
When will you see how much I care?
Such little time I ve spent with you,
Enough to know my love is true.

The further you drift away from me,
The more I feel I ll never be free.
Perhaps I should just let you go,
Your love maybe, I should not know?

My love and friendship is always here,
And if you should ever shed a tear,
My arms are here to hold you tight,
For I will always be your light..

Who Cares When I am Hurt ?

Everyone hurts at one time or another.Sometimes The Hurts Are Relatively Minor And Tend To Go Away By Themselves.

But at Other Times The Hurts Are So Intense That We Wonder Whether They Will Ever Go Away..

To Whom Shall I Complain ?

Some say I am a betrayer betrayed,but if I have never betrayed
anyone,and have just been betrayed in love why would you say this ?

Is it because after you hurt my heart and split it open that when I
hated you I became a betrayer ?Or is it because I wont let anyone in
because the pain hurts ?

Am I the betrayer full of hate for you?
It is true I hate you but there is a part of me that wont let you go.

I still hate you or how you hurt me,but I still love the way you were
and how you would hold me in your arms.

Now I feel like I'm falling..
To Whom shall i complain?

Love me for a Reason

Don't love me for what I have,
Or the things that you think I'll receive..
Love me for who I am as a whole,
And the person that I'm struggling to be..

Don't love me for my money,
Because if you ask I will truly share..
Love me for being understanding and kind,
And for being a friend whose always there..

Don't love me because I house you,
Because I would do the same for a dog..
Love me because I have faith in you,
And for loving you most of all..

Love me for seeing the good in you,
And for helping you overcome the bad.
Don't love me because I cater to you,
And for giving you my very last..

Love me for the person I am truly,
On the inside and the out..
Don't love me because the words I love you,
Flows freely from my mouth..

Why Cant You see Me Cring ?

Watching you go is slowly killing me inside
To see the pain you suffer, it just isn't right
I find myself crying though you're still here.
One day you won't be, and that's my greatest fear.

So I soak up the moments I still have with you.
And regret the ones I lost when I had better things to do.
I know there are things I can never make up for,
And still somewhere inside you loved me all the more

This only makes it harder to accept that you'll be gone.
How am I supposed to get up and keep moving on?
You've been here my entire life in many memories.
One day I'll make new ones and you won't be with me.

When I have a question, where do I run too?
For all of these years, that person's been you.
When I have a fear, who will chase it away?
I'm shrinking by the minute, dying by the day.

How many I love you's can I fit in before you go?
There will never be enough, and sadly this I know.
For the sake of my heart and the thoughts in my mind,
I'll say I love you, one final time..

I Always Hide My Tears

Tears burning as they fall
My soul is crying for you
Melting a path to my heart
Where love still lives so true

Memories screaming in flame
Holding your picture again
Eternity has stood still
Since you left me in pain

How do I live in darkness
Without you lighting my way
Fading images haunting my life
When I turned and left that day..

Hiding beneath tide of misery
Waiting to be swept away
Drowning waves of broken dreams
Never your love would I betray

Will you catch me when I fall
From my cliff of sorrow
Need your love to continue living
Without you time is borrowed..

My Wish is Only You

The world of dreams
Beckons me again
It's a dream of a world
With nothing else but pain

Nothing feels right
Something is gone
I feel empty and hollow
My heart turns to stone

It is you that I miss
It's my soul that is gone
Is this my destiny?
Forever alone?

I'm tired of wanting
I'm tired of needing
And each time I succeed
I am left dead and bleeding

Say you love me
And I'll love you too
But I'll never say that I do
beCause you wouldn't love me too

If Only You Were Ever There

Seems to be the foulest on Earth
Yet the sun skims the sky
In shadows I dwell, bound in my chains
In the silken divine, but darkened depths

Kept on descending; I don't know where I've been
How am I to know? It was too dark to see
An angel could save me
Bring me back from this despair
But there was never one there

Reached the bottom of the pit
Consumed in those brisk, black waters
Caught from each rainy afternoon
So few remembered in those chasms
So many were there, so many

Deceased lie in regiments cascading to the ground
So solemn are their vows before they reach the final stair
You're going up now? What could ever be up there?

We are standing in tomorrow's murky past
Come and laugh, Let's all laugh
Stand alone, all together now

Kept on descending and I don't know where I've been
How could I have known? It was too dark to see.
Can you save me from this overwhelming despair?
If only you were ever there ..

Memories are all I have left

A light scent of jasmine
Carried by a small breeze
I am holding my breathe,
For a moment I feel...

Cascading tears on the surface
Of emerald green soul
Reflecting your image,
On the lonely shore...

All memories we had
The light jasmine scent
Brought on my mind again
With a deadliest pain...

I put your photo back
In the pocket I keep
Memories haunt my heart
With dreams broke apart...

I am Running Away From My Life

I hate this feeling of displacement,
Not knowing where I'm headed.
Not knowing how to react.
Heading to a place that I have created.

Slice open,
The pain held inside.
And let it slip away.
Every night that I have cried.

Let the blood drop,
Let it all slip away.
Let life slowly stop,
This life of disarray.

Foot steps...their coming,
Cover the blood,
Don't show what you are becoming.
Don't show the crimson flood.

Place on that mask,
That mask of happiness.
Forced smile...always a task.
My veins now becoming bloodless.

In they walk,
The blood still dripping.
Full of empty talk,
I can feel my life slipping.

Never did I want to die,
I just wanted to feel,
And then asked why?
To stop feeling numb would have been ideal.

But now as I slip away,
I can see things were never right.
A fake life was on display.
To the skies I am taking flight.

Why won't this life let me go,
Take me away from my life of hell..